blogs mark my beginnings. blogs are chapters of my life.

it's been a long time, right? well, surely. actually, there's no surprise. i have always been like this with my blogs. haha. not always updating. well, i've been kind of busy this summer. especially may, when i went to america. you know, we had our vacation there. visit relatives and stuff. and then i was always busy thinking about a lot of things. of college. yeah, remember that? how ecstatic i was when i found out about the upcat results? yeah, thinking about college did consume a lot of my time way back in the summer. i mean, how i was going to handle everything? college is different. it might be a way harder. then i also found out during our briefing that we'd have to maintain a grade in order to stay in BAA. yep, BAA!! haha. so it's kinda hard. plus i was always thinking about... oh, whoever. or whatever. or what else you can call it. you know. because i have a lot of worries. you know that? like what would happen to us? what if i get hurt? how would i move on? how do we maintain it? oh yeah, so this is actually the first formal time i talked about it here like that. about... whatever. i mean, in my past entries, i'm always just giving hints and everything. well, that was just what i was worrying about. there are a lot more things, though...

moving on. yeah, that's the main thing i did. and that's what i'm continuing to do. because moving on is a process. it isn't like you say to yourself that, "hey, i already moved on!" in one snap. it's a continuing process. and i'm moving on and detaching from a lot of things. first, high school. i'm no longer in high school anymore. i'm in college, wake up! i can't believe that, really! how time flies really fast! i mean, once i was just this frustrated scientian back when i was a freshie, blogging about all that stuff and everything... and then about lebel? whoo. laugh at it. haha. and now, i'm a freshman again but this time it's in... college. yeah, college! and i am really excited about it! i love my course, you know? and at the same time, i'm nervous. what if i'm not able to maintain the grade? and graduate in my course? aw, that would be awful. but really, i love my course.

then, i have to forget all the painful memories of my past. like there were really a lot. well, there are but not enough to keep me from moving on with my life. yes, moving on. we have to move on at one point in our lives. no, at many points. because that's the only thing that could help us from detaching from our past. because there's always something waiting ahead of us. but that doesn't mean we forget our past. because it's a part of who we are, and who we will become. but we also have to accept that we are leaving something behind. even if it's something we love. it's part of moving on...

and part of my moving on process is the fact that... i'm moving on to my new blog at multiply. it's not that i don't like xanga anymore. I LOVE XANGA. actually, i've been here for about more than four years. hello, i've been keeping one since 6th grade? but they deleted it because i wasn't able to update anymore. haha. but i'll try to update here as much as possible. even just add a few-sentence entries. but i'm moving on because a lot of people are in multiply. positive, because i'll discover a lot about them and then they'll discover a lot about me. negative, i won't be able to write too much private-stuff entries. you know what they are. so i really have to go back to you. because barely anyone my age blogs here. mostly, they're on multiply. i also want to meet a lot of people in college. but still, i linked this blog in my multiply. and blogs mark the beginnings, of new chapters in my life. but i will keep coming back here. i won't let them delete this! haha. because this is high school drama. this is where all of my ramblings about high school are. this is even like my diary during the moments i couldn't write because i didn't have time. my diary whenever i'm researching for school. because i love high school. and i'll always come back to this blog to reminisce. yes.

thank you, xanga, for the four years. i will keep coming back if i have time. really. thank you, XANGA.

farewell. :)

http://sowkeesh24.multiply.com

i can wait forever.

emo-ness. that's what's attacking me for these past few days. especially last wednesday! haha. well, probably it's not just emo-ness. i mean, it could be nostalgia, torment, agony... whatever. haha. i guess there's just a lot of things on my mind right now. as usual, i have mixed emotions. all with the graduation and stuff? and this one week that i'm not going to be able to have any form of communication with... you know, whoever? everything is just so mind-boggling and i don't practically think that this is the best place to get on with all my ramblings. but whatever, this blog has always been my fortress of ramblings. oh yeah, fortress of ramblings! haha. i am going to write all about these in my diary. but as for now, you're all that i have. naks. haha. and besides, i am certainly with no doubt going to miss this blog!!!! remember, about my college blog and everything? probably i'm transferring. aww. whatever, haha! so off to the things that's mind boggling...

graduation. oh yeah, we're graduates now! we just graduated from high school! we just survived the four years full of pressure, sleepless nights and endless schoolwork! can you believe it??? once, i was just starting to ramble on in this blog. and now, i'm probably saying goodbye to it!! aww. that's just, PROBABLY. i mean, i love this blog. it's just a bit too "highschool-ish". i mean, all with the emo icons and stuff. but i love XANGA. haha. so, we're finished now!!! and i still haven't absorbed everything!! can you actually believe that??? oh yeah. i'm still on the process of absorbing. probably tomorrow, i'll absorb it all!! haha. but actually, i'm really happy about it. and as usual, mixed emotions as any graduate feels. haha. CONGRATULATIONS AND HAPPY GRADUATION TO ME!!! woohoo!!! cheers!!!

one week without any communications. that i still haven't absorbed. yesss. it is so sad, agonizing, tormenting, suffering. suffering? haha, that's not an adjective!! haha. but whatever. but i can go on. we all have to move on at one point in our lives. what's one week? WHAT IS ONE WEEK? it's just one week, come on. we're all just going to be surprised it's over. i mean, the one week!! haha. not, you know. but whatever. the truth is, i have a lot of things to say about it. and realizations. SERIOUS REALIZATIONS. but the heck, somebody might read this and well, just think something about it and misinterpret it and everything. ang gulo gulo ko no? haha. wag nalang ngayon. kapag maayos na ang isip ko!! haha. but whatever. i can get by. :)

oh yeah. ramblings. i'm signing off now. haha. till the next entry. :)

"kadalasan sinasabi natin sa mahal natin 'masaya ako kung saan ka masaya'. pero pag nag-iisa ka na, masaya ka ba talaga? minsan sadyang mahirap tanggapin na, kung saan siya masaya, yun ang hindi mo kaya..." :(

 i miss you.

i stay in love with you. :)

nothing. that's what we actually did all day. well, aside from playing boxhead, okay? well. here come the days. the days when we all do nothing. because it's already the end of the year and we finished our pre finals already. although badtrip, they say we still have our finals. but today? we actually did nothing. i mean, since the morning. except also, watch les miserables the movie. but then, PETIX mode. haha. but boxhead?? definitely, it is so enjoyable!!! it is so fun though it's really morbid!! but i guess i really love those type of games. not morbid, but you know. sort of war games and everything. remember, i loved half life? oh yeah. wonderful. haha! i mean, you get to play cooperative with people and then you have teamwork to kill all the enemies, the zombies. and when you kill them, their blood spills. which is red blood. i wonder why. i mean, zombie's blood is black! haha. whatever. i think i just have nothing to think and speak about right now. nothing else really happened today... but anyway, let me just extend my congratulations to all my schoolmate achievers...

belated congratulations to paula for winning 1st in the national presscon!!! yey!!! yoohoo!!! that is so cool!!

congratulations to jereel and rowell for winning in that research contest in subic.

finally, congratulations to jake and victorio for winning first in the mtap!!!

yey!!! we definitely have a lot of student achievers in quesci. especially batch 'o9!! yeah, we rock! we definitely made a difference!! haha. so proud. but what i won't forget?

well... congratulations to me for sleeping in the classroom for the first time! yeah, i slept for one hour awhile ago. imagine that? i know, it isn't a big deal. but come on! it's the first time i slept at school!!! in my whole life, i guess!! except for stargazing, of course, since you're really required to sleep there. but well, it's so refreshing. haha. but so strange. haha. i really don't know. that's just what i did awhile ago. and played BOXHEAD, of course. haha. oh well. so much about this entry. haha. gotta go! tomorrow is petix day even more!!! :)

tonight i've fallen and i can't get up. i need your loving hands to come and pick me up. [ramblings]

BAD TRIP. as in. i am so bad trip right now. damn it. i really don't know. damn it. well. we had our practice for wicked today. you know, the musical. and i am so damn tired right now. not that i'm the cast or something. still... for how many years. i am still in the lights and sounds. it's just that, well, we went back and forth to and from SM to buy stuff. and so that. i am so bad trip!!! then that tango practice we have on monday? oh. instead of resting and enjoying that national holiday which we barely have, and well maybe celebrating edsa and whatever just for nationalistic reasons... we are going to dance TANGO???? well. maybe it's fun. maybe. but come on?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am really so badtrip. well. just let me get on with this and tomorrow everything will be fine. everything will pass soon. I HOPE. I REALLY HOPE SO. but how do i feel right now???????????? just let me be. i wanna let this go. so this is how i feel right now.

AYOKO NA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AYOKO NA TALAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANG HIRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAY WICKED PA MAY TANGO PA MAY ICCUT PA SA ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. probably i'm just tired. too tired. too exhausted. too sad. i mean, after all the exams we have all these projects. well. let's get on the positive side. ngayon nalang yan. when we go to college, all we would do is study. i mean. we aren't going to produce another MUSICAL!!! or dance TANGO!!!!!!! well, of course i'm not going to take any PE related to dancing. especially ballroom??? what the heck!!!!!!! ngayon nalang yan. then i'm going to graduate!!!!! yes! i will be attending my first graduation!!!!!! hahaha. yes. i am feeling much much better!!!!! salamat sa lahat ng taong tumulong. yes, you know who you people are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. ym people... oh my gosh. yes. tomorrow everything will be fine. this will all be over soon. OPTIMISM. INSPIRATION. but best of all? TRUST IN GOD. He will help me all through out.

yes. i'm feeling much better now. this entry is so... WHATEVER. at least in the end, i'm okay. everything will be really fine tomorrow. oh. if only i wasn't badtrip, i would narrate all about the prom and valentine's day and the 15th. but actually?? they're all fine. well not only fine.. they're just to happy to describe. i mean, they're happily undescribable. at least that's the overview i could give.

but right now? i'm just thankful i have my blog. but actually? disregard this entry.

tonight i've fallen and i can't get up. i need your loving hands to come and pick me up. and every night i miss you i can just look up and know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you TONIGHT.

thank you for everything.

2009-11780!!

oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i passed UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. calm down. calm down. actually, i found it out yesterday morning!! i was supposed to publish an entry that night, but then my head ached out of waiting for the results. because, it was really so hard to get through the website!! can you believe that??? i am still so ecstatic up to now!!!!! especially yesterday!!! and is still can't believe it!! i am just so happy!!! i mean, that is like my dream!!!! and BUSINESS ADMINSTRATION AND ACCOUNTANCY????? oh my gosh!!!! that is really MY Dream!!! and i am really so happy!!! up to here in this blog!!!! well. i guess that's it for now. btw, melay is also in BAA!!! nice one!!!! hahaha.. we're really meant to be!!! hahahaha!!! yes! BAA sisters!!! oh well. i guess that's it for today in my ramblings. well, talk well next time. i am just so plainly ecstatic!! because i am student number 2009-11780!!!